The Bookworms of Farley Hill



The Bookworms of Farley Hill have two simple rules:

None of us teaches English
All of us are women

Each worm in time plays many parts, usually in response to a particular book, sometimes simultaneously and occasionally consistently. Descriptions follow.

The Hopeful Starter
Like most of us, this worm is full of good intentions.   The book has been by her bed, in her hand bag, and in the car and she always greatly enjoys the first twenty pages.   However, she falls asleep quickly (though not, usually, in the Book Group), always uses the other hand bag, and is never held up in a traffic jam.   The book consequently remains unfinished but this worm never misses a book group evening in order to find out What Happened.

The Researcher
This worm takes the book group most seriously.   Once she has her copy of the next month’s book in her hands, she sets to work.   She surfs the net for information on the author, the text, editors and publishers, other works by the same writer and even those of contemporary writers,.   She spends hours in dusty libraries searching for first editions and special editions and produces a complete bibliography.   All this she distils and at the next meeting provides a written summary.   The other worms are uncertain as to whether The Researcher ever reads the book itself.

The Evangelist
This worm will sit peacefully through the evening’s discussion, contributing and commenting quietly, until the moment when decisions need to be made about the next books to read.   The Evangelist then sits bolt upright and enthuses on the merits of a particular book she has read or wants to read.   Chair arms may be thumped and papers waved.   Order is only restored when the book in question is definitely voted on (or off) the reading list.

The Late Finisher
All worms sympathise with the plight of The Late Finisher.   She arrives at the group out of breath and bleary eyed, having slept little since the last meeting, if at all.   She is conscientious of character and endeavours to fulfil all her obligations.   Work projects are completed before deadlines, families fed and watered, and house and garden maintained.   The allotment flourishes and her charity work is well up to date.   Reading the book is achieved amongst her busy schedule and she thrives on black coffee.

The Bluffer
This worm joins in the evening’s discussion with confidence and panache.   She converses, contributes, confronts and confounds.   Other worms are usually so beguiled by her ability they do not realise until too late that The Bluffer never reads that month’s book.

The Heretic
From time to time this unapologetic worm declares that the book under discussion this month was not to her taste and she had, therefore, declined to read it.   The Advanced Heretic will have read an alternative and come prepared to discuss this, whether or not any other worm has ever even heard of it.

The Anticipator
This remarkable worm is distinguished by the manner in which she approaches the book for the month.   She always reads the end first.   The True Anticipator constantly refers what she reads to the known outcome.   Having started the book – at the end and then the beginning – and read a little, she puts it down and, when she is next able to carry on with it, she re-reads the end and then returns to the point at which she left off.   This featherstitch approach distinguishes her from those worms whose weakness of character is no proof against their curiosity as to What Happens.

The Phantom
This group has its own ghost.   We know she exists since, unlike The Bluffer (and The Researcher ?), she both reads the book and contributes to the discussion, and she has actually appeared to one or two of the other worms.   We are very proud of our Phantom, who helps to make the Bookworms unique and the best of all book groups.

Besides …
 
We are the Bookworms of Farley Hill
And a very good book group too.
We like to read a lot
Whether paperback or not,
But one book a month will do.
Modern novels, books of travel,
A Who-dunnit we’ll unravel,
Even autobiography,
Fact and fiction – whether classical,
Scientific or historical –
But never, never poetry.
What, never ?
No, never !
What, never ?
Hardly ever …
But hardly ever poetry.
Then give three cheers and one cheer still
For the erudite Bookworms of Farley Hill.
Then give three cheers and one cheer still
For the Bookworms of Farley Hill.